Pappa wants mamma naked
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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