11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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