so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
