Soap is not a condiment
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
