did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
