yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
