...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
