If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
