Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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