I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
