he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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