I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
