If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
