the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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