Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
