he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
