Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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