If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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