Kiss
Puke
i think my tv is drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it's like iHOP with fire
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Green mimosas i think yes
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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