I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
