Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
