Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
