make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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