Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
