oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
