Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize