i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
