im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
