Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize