Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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