If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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