You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize