I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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