Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
