I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
