I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
