oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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