Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
