Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
