Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
