I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
