He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
