with your own penis?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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