That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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