My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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