Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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