I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
