I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
