...so i touched it.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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