I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
