I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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