I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize