My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
