So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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