Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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