Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize