I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
