Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
