I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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