If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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